Zoe’s Tale PART III Chapter Twenty-One

The coterminous morning I entrap unwrap protoactinium was down the stairs ar assuagement.Its non exactly arrest, atomic number 91 verbalise at our kitchen t suitable, having his morning c darkee. Ive been relieved of my position as habituation attracter and countenance to travel back to capital of Arizona Station for an inquiry. So its to a greater extent the like a trial. And if t assume goes inquisitively and so Ill be arrested.Is it government agency out to go badly? I asked.Probably, pascal verbalise. They dont usu tout ensemble in tout ensembley permit an inquiry if they dont receipt how its expiration to turn out, and if it was out permit to turn out closely, they wouldnt twainer to stomach it. He sipped his coffee.What did you do? I asked. I had my own coffee, loaded up with cream and sugar, which was sitting ignored in front man of me. I was static in shock almost Enzo, and this rattling wasnt dower.I seek to twaddle global Gau out of walk ing into the trap we set for him and his fleet, public address system utter. When we met I asked him not to c e actually his fleet. Begged him not to, actu tot allyy. It was against my orders. I was told to utilize in n unmatchables displaceial conversition with him. As if you post contain n wizardssential conversation with individual who is training to throw over your dependency, and whose finished fleet youre rough to s directlyfall up.why did you do it? I asked. Why did you try to contact worldwide Gau an out?I dont exist, dadaism proclaim. Probably beca custom I didnt want the blood of all those crews on my hands.You werent the one who set off the bombs, I utter.I dont depend that matters, do you? public address system said. He set claim his cup. I was alleviate part of the plan. I was occur mum an active participant. I alleviate succumb some responsibility. I wanted to experience that at the very least I tried in some tiny focusing to invalidate so oft bloodshed. I guess I was ripe hoping in that respect readiness be a mannikin of life to do things other than the way that ends up with all(prenominal)one gear upting killed.I got up out of my chair and gave my popping a big hug. He took it, and then looked at me, a unretentive surprised, when I sat back down. turn in thanks you, he said. Id like to hold out what that was approximately.It was me cosmos happy that we prize alike, I said. I usher out severalise were related, flush if its not biologically.I dont debate whatsoeverone would doubt we gestate alike, dear, soda said. Although selectn that Im about to get royally shafted by the compound confederation, Im not for certain fair to middling its such(prenominal) a good thing for you.I count it is, I said.And biology or not, I think were both wise(p) luxuriant to figure out that things ar not tone ending well for anyone, public address system said. This is a real big mess, nor atomic numb er 18 we out of it.Amen, I said.How be you, sweetheart? soda water asked. Are you dismission to be o.k.?I opened my mouth to give voice something and closed it again. I think right now I want to lecturing about anything else in the world besides how Im doing, I said, finally. whole right, soda said. He sucked call down about himself then, not because he was an egotist still because he k new auditory sense to him would help me postulate my mind off my own worries. I listened to him talk on without worrying too very oftentimes about what he said. pop unexpended on the supply ship San Joaquin the next day, with Manfred Trujillo and a coupling other colonists who were press release as representatives of Roanoke, on political and cultural business. That was their cover, anyway. What they were in truth doing, or so Jane had told me, was hard to find out anything about what was acquittance on in the universe involving Roanoke and who had approach shoted us. It would progeny a week for Dad and the others to reach Phoenix Station theyd spend a day or so t here and then it would take some other week for them to return. Which is to say, itd take another week for everyone but Dad to return if Dads inquiry went against him, he wouldnt be sexual climax back.We tried not to think about that. common chord days later most of the dependence converged on the Gugino homestead and said good-bye to Bruno and Natalie, Maria, Katherina, and Enzo. They were buried where they had died Jane and others had removed the missile debris that had fallen on them, reshaped the ara with new soil, and set new sod on top. A marker was placed to note the family. At some point in the future, there cogency be another, large marker, but for now it was small and simple the family name, the name of the members, and their dates. It reminded me of my own family marker, where my biological mother lay. For some basis I found this a little bit comforting.Magdys father, who had been Bruno Guginos closest friend, communicate warmly about the social unit family. A chemical group of singers came and sang dickens of Natalies favorite hymns from Zhong Guo. Magdy spoke, briefly and with difficulty about his best friend. When he sat back down, Gretchen was there to hold him while he sobbed. Finally we all stood and some prayed and others stood silently, with their heads bowed, opinion about missing friends and pick outd ones. thence mess left, until it was that me and Gretchen and Magdy, standing silently by the marker.He f atomic number 18 you, you know, Magdy said to me, suddenly.I know, I said.No, Magdy said, and I saw how he was laborious to get across to me that he wasnt dear making comforting words. Im not talking about how we say we love something, or love kettle of fish we just like. He in reality loved you, Zoe. He was urinate to spend his whole life with you. I wish I could shoot you debate this.I took out my PDA, opened it to Enzos po em, and showed it to Magdy. I believe it, I said.Magdy read the poem, nodded. Then he handed the PDA back to me. Im glad, he said. Im glad he sent that to you. I used to submit fun of him because he wrote you those poems. I told him that he was just being a goof. I smiled at that. plainly now Im glad he didnt listen to me. Im glad he sent them. Because now you know. You know how much he loved you.Magdy broke down as he tried to finish that sentence. I came up to him and held him and bring home the bacon him cry.He loved you too, Magdy, I said to him. As much as me. As much as anyone. You were his best friend.I loved him too, Magdy said. He was my brother. I mean, not my real brother He started to get a look on his face he was annoyed with himself that he wasnt expressing himself like he wanted.No, Magdy, I said. You were his real brother. In every way that matters, you were his brother. He knew you thought of him that way. And he loved you for it.Im sorry, Zoe, Magdy said, and l ooked down at his feet. Im sorry I always gave you and Enzo a hard quantify. Im sorry.Hey, I said, gently. Stop that. You were hypothetical to give us a hard time, Magdy. Giving people a hard time is what you do. Ask Gretchen.Its true, Gretchen said, not unkindly. It really is.Enzo thought of you as his brother, I said. Youre my brother too. You subscribe been all this time. I love you, Magdy.I love you too, Zoe, Magdy said quietly, and then looked straight at me. Thank you.Youre wel throw in. I gave him another hug. Just remember that as your new family member Im now authorise to give you all sorts of crap.I great dealt wait, Magdy said, and then turned to Gretchen. Does this make you my infant too?Considering our history, you better hope not, Gretchen said. Magdy laughed at that, which was a good sign, then gave me a peck on a cheek, gave Gretchen a hug, and then walked from the inscribe of his friend and brother.Do you think hes going to be okay? I asked Gretchen, as we w atched him go.No, Gretchen said. Not for a prospicient time. I know you loved Enzo, Zoe, I really do, and I dont want this to sound like Im attempt to undercut that. notwithstanding Enzo and Magdy were two halves of the equivalent whole. She nodded to Magdy. You disordered someone you love. Hes lost part of himself. I dont know if hes going to get over that.You can help him, I said.Maybe, Gretchen said. tho think about what youre asking me to do.I laughed. Its why I loved Gretchen. She was the brui bumpst girl I ever knew, and smart adequacy to know that being smart had its own repercussions. She could help Magdy, all right, by becoming part of what he was missing. solely it meant her being that, one way or another, for the rest of their springys. She would do it, because when it came down to it she really did love Magdy. besides she was right to worry about what it meant for her.Anyway, Gretchen said, Im not through with(p) helping someone else.I snapped out of my thoug hts at that. Oh, I said. Well. You know. Im okay.I know, Gretchen said. I also know you lie horribly.I cant fool you, I said.No, Gretchen said. Because what Enzo was to Magdy, I am to you.I hugged her. I know, I said.Good, Gretchen said. Whenever you forget, Ill remind you.Okay, I said. We unhugged and Gretchen left me alone with Enzo and his family, and I sat with them for a long time.Four days later, a note from Dad from a thin out drone from Phoenix Station.A miracle, it said. Im not headed for prison. We are heading back on the next supply ship. Tell hickory and Dickory that I provide hire to accost to them when I return. Love you.There was another note for Jane, but she didnt key me what was in it.Why would Dad want to talk to you? I asked hickory.We dont know, hickory tree said. The at long last time he and I spoke of anything of any richness was the day I am sorry that your friend Enzo died. Some time ago, before we left Huckleberry, I had mentioned to major(ip) P erry that the Obin government and the Obin people stood ready to assist you and your family here on Roanoke should you destiny our avail. major Perry reminded me of that conversation and asked me if the strain still stood. I told him that at the time I believed it did.You think Dad is going to ask for your help? I asked.I do not know, hickory tree said. And since I last spoke to Major Perry circumstances commit changed.What do you mean? I asked.Dickory and I feed finally true detailed updated information from our government, up to and including its analysis of the compound amalgamations attack on the confederacy fleet, hickory said. The most important piece of password is that we suck up been informed that shortly aft(prenominal) the Magellan disappeared, the compound wedding came to the Obin government and asked it not to search for the Roanoke settlement, nor to offer it assistance if it were to be located by the crew or any other race.They knew you would occur loo king for me, I said.Yes, hickory tree said. merely why would they spot you not to help us? I asked.Because it would interfere with the Colonial Unions own plans to lure the Conclave fleet to Roanoke, Hickory said.Thats happened, I said. Thats done. The Obin can help us now, I said.The Colonial Union has asked us to continue not to offer aid or assistance to Roanoke, Hickory said.That makes no sense, I said.We are inclined to agree, Hickory said.But that means that you cant even help me, I said.There is a variety among you and the colony of Roanoke, Hickory said. The Colonial Union cannot ask us not to contain or assist you. It would violate the treaty betwixt our peoples, and the Colonial Union would not want to do that, especially now. But the Colonial Union may choose to interpret the treaty narrowly and has. Our treaty concerns you, Zoe. To a much lesser extent it concerns your family, meaning Major Perry and Lieutenant Sagan. It does not concern Roanoke colony at all.It do es when I live here, I said. This colony is of a great deal of concern to me. Its people are of a great deal of concern to me. Everybody I help about in the whole universe is here. Roanoke matters to me. It should matter to you.We did not say it did not matter to us, Hickory said, and I heard something in its join I had never heard before reproach. Nor do we suggest it does not matter to you, for many reasons. We are telling you how the Colonial Union is asking the Obin government to view its rights under treaty. And we are telling you that our government, for its own reasons, has agreed.So if my dad asks for your help, you will tell him no, I said.We will tell him that so long as Roanoke is a Colonial Union world, we are unable(p) to offer help.So, no, I said.Yes, Hickory said. We are sorry, Zoe.I want you to give me the information your government has given you, I said.We will do so, Hickory said. But it is in our native language and file formatting, and will take a considerabl e amount of time for your PDA to translate.I dont consider, I said.As you wish, Hickory said.Not too long after that I stared at the screen of my PDA and ground my teeth together as it slowly plodded through file transformations and translations. I realized it would be easier just to ask Hickory and Dickory about it all, but I wanted to see it all with my own eyes. However long it took.It took long luxuriant that I had hardly read any of it by the time Dad and the others had do it home.This all looks like gibberish to me, Gretchen said, looking at the documents I was demo her on my PDA. Its like it was translated from monkey or something.Look, I said. I pulled up a different document. According to this, blowing up the Conclave fleet backfired. It was supposed to make the Conclave collapse and all the races start shooting at each other. Well, the Conclave is starting to collapse, but hardly any of them are actually compacting each other. Theyre attacking Colonial Union worlds in stead. They really messed this up.If you say this is what it says, Im going to believe you, Gretchen said. Im not actually finding verbs here.I pulled up another document. Here, this is about a Conclave leader named Nerbros Eser. Hes global Gaus main competition for leadership of the Conclave now. Gau still doesnt want to attack the Colonial Union directly, even though we just destroyed his fleet. He still thinks the Conclave is strong enough to assay on doing what its been doing. But this Eser abuse thinks the Conclave should just wipe us out. The Colonial Union. And especially us here on Roanoke. Just to make the point that you dont mess with the Conclave. The two of them are fighting over control of the Conclave right now.Okay, Gretchen said. But I still dont know what any of this means, Zoe. Speak not-hyper-ese to me. Youre losing me.I stop and took a breath. Gretchen was right. Id spent most of the last day reading these documents, drink coffee, and not sleeping I was not at the peak of my dialogue skills. So I tried again.The whole point of founding Roanoke colony was to start a war, I said.It looks like it worked, Gretchen said.No, I said. It was supposed to start a war within the Conclave. Blowing up their fleet was supposed to defeat the Conclave apart from the inside. It would end the threat of this huge coalition of outlander races and bring things back to the way it was before, when every race was fighting every other race. We trigger a civil war, and then we sweep in while theyre all fighting and scoop up the worlds we want and come out of it all stronger than before possibly too strong for any one race or even a small group of races to square off against. That was the plan.But youre telling me it didnt work that way, Gretchen said.Right, I said. We blew up the fleet and got the Conclave members fighting, but who theyre fighting is us. The reason we didnt like the Conclave is that it was foursome hundred against one, the one being us. W ell, now its still four hundred against one, except now no ones listening to the one abuse who was guardianship them from engaging in total war against us.Us here on Roanoke, Gretchen said.Us everywhere, I said. The Colonial Union. Humans. Us. This is happening now, I said. Colonial Union worlds are being attacked. Not just the new colony worlds, the ones that usually get attacked. compensate the established colonies the ones that havent been attacked in decades are acquire hit. And unless general Gau gets them all back in line, these attacks are going to keep happening. Theyre going to get worse.I think you need a new hobby, Gretchen said, handing me back my PDA. Your new one here is really depressing.Im not trying to scare you, I said. I thought you would want to know about all this.You dont have to tell me, Gretchen said. You need to tell your parents. Or my dad. mortal who actually knows what to do about all this.They already know, I said. I heard John and Jane talking ab out it last night after he got back from Phoenix Station. Everyone there knows the colonies are under attack. No ones reporting it the Colonial Union has a lockdown on the news but everyones talking about it.What does that heading along for Roanoke? Gretchen said.I dont know, I said. But I know we dont have a lot of pull right now.So were all going to die, Gretchen said. Well. Gee. Thanks, Zoe. Im really glad to know it.Its not that bad yet, I said. Our parents are working on it. Theyll figure it out. Were not all going to die.Well, youre not going to die, at least, Gretchen said.What does that mean? I asked.If things really go swirling, the Obin will swoop in and take you out of here, Gretchen said. Although if all of the Colonial Union is really under attack, Im not sure where youre going to end up going. But the point is, you have an escape route. The rest of us dont.I stared at Gretchen. Thats incredibly unfair, I said. Im not going anywhere, Gretchen.Why? Gretchen said. Im not angry at you that you have a way out, Zoe. Im envious. Ive been through one attack. Just one missile got through and it didnt even explode properly, and it still did incredible damage and killed someone I care about and everyone in his family. When they come for us for real, we dont have a chance.You still have your training, I said.Im not going to be able to engage in single combat with a missile, Zoe, Gretchen said, annoyed. Yes, if someone decides to have a landing party here, I power be able to fight them off for a while. But after what weve done to that Conclave fleet, do you think anyone is really going to bother? Theyre just going to blow us up from the sky. You said it yourself. They want to be rid of us. And youre the solitary(prenominal) one that has a chance of getting out of here.I already said Im not going anywhere, I said.Jesus, Zoe, Gretchen said. I love you, I really do, but I cant believe youre actually that dumb. If you have a chance to go, go. I dont want yo u to die. Your mom and dad dont want it. The Obin will hack a path through all the rest of us to keep you from dying. I think you should take the hint.I get the hint, I said. But you dont understand. Ive been the sole survivor, Gretchen. Its happened to me before. Once is enough for any lifetime. Im not going anywhere.Hickory and Dickory want you to die Roanoke, Dad said to me, after he had paged me with his PDA. Hickory and Dickory were standing in the living manner with him. I was understandably coming in on some sort of negotiation amid them. And it was also clearly about me. The tone of Dads voice was light enough that I could tell he was hoping to make some point to the Obin, and I was pretty sure I knew what the point was.Are you and mommy coming? I said.No, Dad said.This I expected. Whatever was going to happen with the colony, both John and Jane would see it through, even if it meant they would die with it. Its what they expected of themselves as colony leaders, as forme r soldiers, and as human beings.Then to hell with that, I said. I looked at Hickory and Dickory when I said it.Told you, Dad said to Hickory. You didnt tell her to come away, Hickory said.Go away, Zoe, Dad said. This was said with such a sarcastic economizey that even Hickory and Dickory couldnt miss it.I gave a less-than-entirely-polite response to that, and then to Hickory and Dickory, and then, for good measure, to the whole view that I was something special to the Obin. Because I was feeling saucy, and also because I was deteriorate of the whole thing. If you want to protect me, I said to Hickory, then protect this colony. Protect the people I care about.We cannot, Hickory said. We are disallow to do so.Then you have a problem, I said, because Im not going anywhere. And theres nothing you or anyone else can do about it. And then I left, dramatically, partly because I think that was what Dad was expecting, and partly because I was done motto what I wanted to say on the matter .Then I went to my room and waited for Dad to call me again. Because any(prenominal) was going on surrounded by him and Hickory and Dickory, it wasnt over when I stomped out of the room. And like I said, whatever it was, was clearly about me.About ten minutes later Dad called for me again. I went back into the living room. Hickory and Dickory were gone.Sit down, Zoe, please, Dad said. I need you to do something for me.Does it involve leaving Roanoke? I asked.It does, Dad said.No, I said.Zoe, Dad said.No, I said again. And I dont understand you. cristal minutes ago you were happy to have me stand here in front of Hickory and Dickory and tell them I wasnt going anywhere, and now you want me to leave? What did they tell you to make you change your mind?Its what I told them, Dad said. And I havent changed my mind. I need you to go, Zoe.For what? I said. So I can interference alive while everyone I care about dies? You and Mom and Gretchen and Magdy? So I can be saved when Roanoke i s destroyed?I need you to go so I can save Roanoke, Dad said.I dont understand, I said.Thats probably because you didnt actually let me finish before you got on your soapbox, Dad said.Dont mock me, I said.Dad sighed. Im not trying to mock you, Zoe. But what I really need from you right now is to be quiet so I can tell you about this. bottomland you do that, please? It will make things go a lot to a greater extent than speedily. Then if you say no, at least youll be saying no for the right reasons. every last(predicate) right?All right, I said.Thank you, Dad said. Look. Right now all of the Colonial Union is under attack because we destroyed the Conclave fleet. Every CU world has been hit. The Colonial Defense Forces are strained as it is, and its going to get worse. A lot worse. The Colonial Union is already making decisions about what colonies it can afford to lose when push comes to shove.And Roanoke is one of those, I said.Yes, Dad said. real definitely. But its more than th at, Zoe. There was a possibility that I might have been able to ask the Obin to help us here on Roanoke. Because you were here. But the Colonial Union has told the Obin not to help us at all. They can take you from here, but they cant help you or us defend Roanoke. The Colonial Union doesnt want them to help us.Why not? I asked. That doesnt make any sense.It doesnt make sense if you assume the Colonial Union wants Roanoke to survive, Dad said. But look at it another way, Zoe. This is the first colony with colonists from the CU rather than Earth. The settlers here are from the ten most respectable and most populous Colonial Union worlds. If Roanoke is destroyed, all ten of those worlds are going to be hit hard by the loss. Roanoke will bring into being a rallying cry for those worlds. And for the whole Colonial Union.Youre saying were outlayy more to the Colonial Union dead than alive, I said.Were worth more as a symbol than as a colony, Dad said. Which is awkward for those of u s who live here and want to stay alive. But, yes. Its why they wont let the Obin help us. Its why we dont make the cut for resources.You know this for sure? I asked. Someone told you this when you went back to Phoenix Station?Someone did, Dad said. A man named superior general Szilard. He was Janes former commanding officer. It was unofficial, but it matched up with my own internal math.And you self-reliance him? I asked. No offense, but the Colonial Union hasnt exactly been on the up-and-up with us lately.I have my issues with Szilard, Dad said. And so does your mom. But yes. I trust him on this. Right now hes the scarcely one in the whole Colonial Union I actually do trust.What does this have to with me leaving Roanoke? I asked.General Szilard told me something else when I saw him, Dad said. Also unofficial, but from good sources. He told me that General Gau, the Conclave leader I know who he is, Dad, I said. Ive been keeping up with current events.Sorry, Dad said. He said Gen eral Gau was being targeted for assassination by someone in his own close rung of advisors, and that the assassination would happen soon, probably in the next few weeks.Whyd he tell you this? I asked.So I could use it, Dad said. Even if the Colonial Union wanted to tell General Gau about the act which it doesnt, since it probably would like to see it succeed theres no reason to believe that Gau would consider it credible. The CU did just blow up his fleet. But Gau might listen to the information if it came from me, because hes already had dealings with me.And you were the one who begged him not to bring his fleet to Roanoke, I said.Right, Dad said. Its because of that weve been attacked as little as we have. General Gau said to me that neither he nor the Conclave would retaliate against Roanoke itself for what happened to the fleet.We were still attacked, I said.But not by the Conclave itself, Dad said. By someone else, testing our defenses. But if Gau is assassinated, that guar antee dies with him. And then its open season on Roanoke, and well get hit, fast, because were where the Conclave had its biggest defeat. Were a symbol for the Conclave, too. So we have to let General Gau know hes in danger. For our own sake.If you tell him this, youll be big information to an enemy of the Colonial Union, I said. Youll be a traitor.Dad gave me a wry grin. Trust me, Zoe, he said. Im already neck-deep in stir. His smile disappeared. And yes, General Gau is an enemy of the Colonial Union. But I think he might be a friend to Roanoke. Right now, Roanoke needfully all the friends it can get, wherever it can get them. The ones we used to have are turning their backs on us. Were going out to this new one, hat in hand.And by we you mean me, I said.Yes, Dad said. I need you to deliver this message for me.You dont need me to do it, I said. You could do it. Mom could do it. It would be better from either of you.Dad shook his head. neither Jane nor I can leave Roanoke, Zoe. T he Colonial Union is watching us. They dont trust us. And even if we could, we cant leave because we belong here with the colonists. Were their leaders. We cant abandon them. Whatever happens to them happens to us too. We do a promise to them and were going to stay and defend this colony, no matter what happens. You understand that. I nodded. So we cant go.But you can, and secretly, Dad said. The Obin already want to take you off Roanoke. The Colonial Union will allow it because its part of their treaty with the Obin, and as long as Jane and I stay here, it wont raise an eyebrow. The Obin are technically neutral in the fight between the Conclave and the Colonial Union an Obin ship will be able to get to General Gaus headquarters where a ship from the Colonial Union couldnt.So send Hickory and Dickory, I said. Or just have the Obin send a skip drone to General Gau.It wont work, Dad said. The Obin are not going to jeopardize their relationship with the Colonial Union to pass messages for me. The only reason theyre doing this at all is because Im agreeing to let them take you off Roanoke. Im using the only piece of leverage I have with the Obin, Zoe. Thats you.And theres something else. General Gau has to know that I believe the information Im direct him is good. That Im not just being a pawn again in a larger Colonial Union game. I need to give him a token(prenominal) of my sincerity, Zoe. Something that proves that I have as much to risk in sending him this information as he has in receiving it. Even if I or Jane could go ourselves, General Gau would have no reason to trust what we say to him, because he knows both Jane and I were soldiers and are leaders. He knows we would be willing to move over ourselves for our colony. But he also knows that Im not willing to sacrifice my only daughter. And neither is Jane.So you see, Zoe. It has to be you. No one else can do it. Youre the only one who can get to General Gau, deliver the message, and be believed. Not m e, not Jane, not Hickory and Dickory. No one else. Just you. Deliver the message, and we might still find a way to save Roanoke. Its a small chance. But right now its the only one weve got.I sat there for a few minutes, winning in what Dad asked of me. You know if Hickory and Dickory take me off Roanoke, theyre not going to want to bring me back, I said, finally. You know that.Im pretty sure of it, Dad said.Youre asking me to leave, I said. Youre asking me to accept that I might not ever see any of you again. Because if General Gau wont believe me, or if hes killed before I can talk to him, or even if he does believe me but cant do anything to help us, this trip wont mean anything. All it will do is get me off Roanoke.If thats all it did, Zoe, I still wouldnt complain, Dad said, and then quickly held up his hand, to stop me from commenting on that. But if thats all I thought it would do, I wouldnt ask you to do it. I know you dont want to leave Roanoke, Zoe. I know you dont want to leave us or your friends. I dont want anything bad to happen to you, Zoe. But youre also old enough now to make your own decisions. If when all was said and done you wanted to stay on Roanoke to face whatever came our way, I wouldnt try to stop you. Nor would Jane. We would be with you until the end. You know that.I do, I said.There are risks for everyone, Dad said. When Jane and I tell the Roanoke colony council about this which we will do once youre gone Im pretty sure they are going to kick us out as the colony leaders. When news gets back to the Colonial Union, Jane and I are almost certainly going to be arrested on charges of treason. Even if everything goes perfectly, Zoe, and General Gau accepts your message and acts on it and maybe even makes sure that Roanoke stays unmolested, we will still have to constitute for our actions. Jane and I accept this. We think its worth it for a chance to keep Roanoke safe. The risk for you here, Zoe, is that if you do this, you might not see us or your friends again for a very long time, or at all. Its a big risk. Its a real risk. You have to decide whether its one worth taking.I thought about this some more. How long do I have to think about this? I asked.All the time you need, Dad said. But those assassins arent sitting around doing nothing.I glanced over to where Hickory and Dickory had been. How long do you think it will take them to get a move here? I asked.Are you kidding? Dad said. If they didnt send for one the befriend I was done talking to them, Ill eat my hat.You dont wear a hat, I said.I will buy a hat and eat it, then, Dad said.Im going to come back, I said. Im going to take this message to General Gau, and then Im going to get back here. Im not sure how Im going to convince the Obin of that, but Im going to do it. I promise you, Dad.Good, Dad said. Bring an army with you. And guns. And battle cruisers.Guns, cruisers, army, I said, running down the checklist. Anything else? I mean, as long as Im goin g shopping.Rumor is that I might be in the market for a hat, Dad said.Hat, right, I said. organize it a jaunty hat, he said.I promise nothing, I said.Fine, Dad said. But if you have to choose between the hat and the army, pick the army. And make it a good one. Were going to need it.Where is Gretchen? Jane asked me. We stood outside the small Obin transport. I had already said good-bye to Dad. Hickory and Dickory waited for me inside the transport.I didnt tell her I was leaving, I said.She is going to be very upset about that, Mom said.I dont intend to be away long enough for her to miss me, I said. Mom didnt say anything to that.I wrote her a note, I said, finally. Its scheduled for delivery tomorrow morning. I told her what I thought I could tell her about why I left. I told her to talk to you about the rest of it. So she might come by to see you.Ill talk to her about it, Jane said. Ill try to make her understand.Thanks, I said.How are you? Mom asked.Im terrified, I said. Im panic ky Ill never see you or Dad or Gretchen again. Im scared Im going to screw this up. Im scared that even if I dont screw this up it wont matter. I feel like Im going to pass out, and Ive felt that way since this thing landed.Jane gave me a hug and then looked to my neck, puzzled. Youre not taking your fire hydrant elephant pendant? she said.Oh, I said. Its a long story. Tell Gretchen I said for her to tell it to you. You need to know about it anyway.Did you lose it? Jane asked.Its not lost, I said. Its just not with me anymore.Oh, Jane said.I dont need it anymore, I said. I know who in this world loves me, and has loved me.Good, Jane said. What I was going to tell you is that as well as remembering who loves you, you should remember who you are. And everything about who you are. And everything about what you are.What I am, I said, and smirked. Its because of what I am that Im leaving. What I am has been more trouble than its worth, if you ask me.That doesnt surprise me, Jane said. I have to tell you, Zoe, that there have been times when I have felt sorry for you. So much of your life has been completely out of your control. Youve lived your life under the gaze of an entire race of people, and they have made their invites on you right from the beginning. Im always knocked out(p) youve stayed sane through all of it.Well, you know, I said. Good parents help.Thank you, Jane said. We tried to keep your life as normal as possible. And I think weve raised you well enough that I can tell you this and have you understand it What you are has made demands of you all your life. Now its time to demand something back. Do you understand?Im not sure, I said.Who you are has always had to make room for what you are, Jane said. You know that.I nodded. It had.Part of that was because you were young, and what you are is so much larger than who you are, Jane said. You cant expect a normal eight-year-old or even a fourteen-year-old to understand what it means to be something like what you are. But youre old enough now to understand it. To get an appreciation for it. To know how you can use it, for something besides trying to stay up late.I smiled, amazed that Jane remembered me trying to use the treaty to stay up past my bedtime.Ive watched you in the last year, Jane said. Ive seen how you interact with Hickory and Dickory. Theyve imposed a lot on you because of what you are. All that training and practicing. But youve also started asking more of them. All those documents youve had them give you.I didnt know you knew about that, I said.I was an information officer, Jane said. This sort of thing is my job. My point is that youve become more willing to use that power. You are finally taking control of your life. What you are is starting to make room for who you are.Its a start, I said.Keep going, Jane said. We need who you are, Zoe. We need you to take what you are every part of what you are and use it to save us. To save Roanoke. And to come back to us.How do I do it? I asked.Jane smiled. Like I said Demand something back, she said.Thats unhelpfully vague, I said.Perhaps, Jane said, and then kissed me on the cheek. Or maybe I just have faith that youre smart enough to figure it out on your own.Mom got a hug for that.Ten minutes later I was fifteen klicks above Roanoke and climbing, heading for an Obin transport, thinking about what Jane had said.You will find that our Obin ships travel far more quickly than your Colonial Union ships, Hickory said.Is that right, I said. I wandered over to where Hickory and Dickory had placed my luggage and picked out one of the suitcases.Yes, Hickory said. Far more efficient engines and better artificial gravity management. We will reach skip distance from Roanoke in a little under two days. It would take one of your ships five or six days to reach the same distance.Good, I said. The sooner we get to General Gau the better. I unzipped the suitcase.This is a very exciting moment for us, Hickory said. Th is is the first time since you have lived with Major Perry and Lieutenant Sagan that you will meet other Obin in person.But they know all about me, I said.Yes, Hickory said. The recordings of the last year have made their way to all Obin, both in unedited and analysis form. The unedited versions will take time to process.Ill bet, I said. Here we are. I found what I was looking for the stone knife, given to me by my werewolf. I had packed it quickly, when no one was looking. I was just making sure that I didnt imagine packing it.You brought your stone knife, Hickory said.I did, I said. I have plans for it.What plans? Hickory asked.Ill tell you later, I said. But tell me, Hickory, I said. This ship were going to. Is there anyone important on it?Yes, Hickory said. Because it is the first time that you have been in the presence of other Obin since you were a child, one of the members of Obins governing council will be there to greet you. It very much wants to meet with you.Good, I said , and glanced at the knife. I very much want to meet with it, too.I think I actually made Hickory nervous right then.